Self esteem building for addicts: How can I recover a healthy sense of self?
How Do I Recover Healthy Self-Esteem?
As a senior manager in the work place, self-esteem is often an issue with employees as they advance in their careers; particularly those new to management roles.
As a coach, this self-esteem is an issue I deal with with every client. I have never had an exception. It makes a guy wonder what happened along the trail, and also wonder what happened first, lousy self-esteem or addiction?
My personal esteem
The place I always start to look is at my own personal circumstance. Being a recovering addict and also a senior manager, I have had to gain some insight along the way.
I was brought up in what most would have thought to be a very comfortable home. I was healthy, reasonably bright and didn’t want for too much materially. Yet, for a reason I now understand, I never felt that I was good enough nor did I feel that I measured up to the expectation of “others”. If a reasonably sound upbringing left me like this, I can easily understand how those with a less fortunate childhood can have self-esteem issues.
7 tips for self-esteem building
Some basic how to “overcome” actions for me (and for many of my clients) included:
1. Use positive affirmations.
I went to, and I send clients to, the few people in life a person can really trust. Positive “I am……….” statements are obtained from these honest sources, such as “Keith is a truly caring person”. Four or five are lots. Put them on a recipe card and tape the card to your favorite mirror. Initially you won’t believe; do the work and you’ll know them to be true.
2. Spend quiet time everyday.
If you can learn how to shut your mind down, divorced of brain chatter, interesting things (positive) will be revealed to you.
3. Journal daily .
Get those good thoughts and negatives externalized. You’ll be shocked how they look on paper. Set some goals, dare to dream some good dreams.
4. Get outside help .
Everybody needs a mentor. You need a “trusted confidant” in your life, one who you respect and admire, who has walked the road and come out in sunshine; it may not necessarily be some one you like or know well..
5. Right size yourself.
Learn that you are not the center of the universe and in the big picture, not all that important. Find that proverbial power greater than you that you can build a trusting relationship with.
6. Give yourself credit.
Make sure you give yourself credit for all your successes, no matter how big or small. It is far too easy to focus on failures.
7. Set some small achievable goals.
Baby steps will carry you on a journey and the journey never starts without a first step. When you hit a goal, give yourself a small reward, maybe a small pat on the back.
Think about it. You were born with a purpose, and that purpose was positive. It still is. Each of us in our own small way have something to offer. If you learn to believe in you, achieve healthy self-respect, your world will be a much brighter place to live in and so will be the world of every person you have contact with!
Photo credit: R.O. Mania