Why can’t I stop smoking, stop drinking or stop taking drugs?
Do you have an addiction problem?
You’re reading this because you are looking for information about “addictions”. I address this to two groups of people in particular.
* The person who thinks s/he has a problem.
* The person trying to drink/drug/behave in moderation.
Many are here because deep down they think they might have a problem. Guess what? If you think you might have a problem with drugs or alcohol, chances are very high that you do.
Some of you may be looking at how to do certain things in moderation. For you, my personal 25 years of research proved to me there are certain things I could not do in moderation.
So, to these two groups of people: there are certain activities you are involved in that try as you might, you just can’t stop doing them. They are at a point where they’re having a negative impact on you and likely those around you. You’ve tried cold turkey, read and done many other things to no avail. You just can’t stop.
What prevents you to stop smoking, drinking or taking drugs?
Well, I’ll share from personal experience… and my experience has been validated by hundred’s of others I’ve worked with. In every case, it’s not exactly the same, but you will be able to relate.
1. Denial fuels addiction
At first I couldn’t stop because I was in denial that my addiction was a problem let alone an addiction. I’m a strong person and do not consider myself to be of weak character and lacking in will power. If I had a problem, then I was sure I could fix it myself. Remember the Bible, as I recall, says something about “physician heal thy self”.
Over time, signs within me and feedback from others were persistent enough that I started to really wonder if there was a problem. This was the first step of over coming denial and accepting my addictions may be real. Continued research taught me that not only could I not carry out my addictions in moderation, but I was not able to “fix them myself”.
2. Reliance on self keeps you in the problem
Another old saying, anyone who has themselves for their lawyer has a fool for a client”, and for a period I was the fool. Simply put, I learned that I had a problem and could not fix it myself and if it were going to be fixed, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help.
As addiction treatment evolves, the role of “support” comes more and more to the forefront as a key ingredient to successful recovery. If you read the mission statement of Addiction Blog, you’ll learn that there is no one way to address your addictions, and there are options as to the help available. Read the contributions that have been made on this site and learn of the options and know that “addiction treatment” is very slowly changing. Know also that a vast majority of family physicians know very little about treatment and addiction. They do see the physical results. Get help that works for you from a source that knows the issue intimately.
How to get out of the addiction trap
I believe that “specialized support” is a key ingredient for all who want contented freedom from their addictions. “Support” is one of the reasons that coaching is being used more and more by the addicted- either as their primary help point in addressing addiction, as a supplement to other recovery options (12 step groups, counselling) or as the primary support following residential treatment. It is a viable option and I am pleased that the success rate of my carefully chosen clients is very high.
So you can’t stop?…reach out for help
I hope you have a better appreciation of why you can’t and what you have to process to begin real recovery. Action and asking for help are the keys.
I encourage your comments and the suggestions you may have as to topics you’d like addressed from a coaches perspective. Until next week. Live today! Keith
Photo credit: Shifteye