How can I help my husband stop drinking?

8 tips on how to address your husband’s drinking. Learn to communicate with your husband and address drinking problems with suggestions from an addiction professional here.

minute read

Why do people stop drinking?

Any person stops drinking because that person realizes that the costs of drinking now exceed the benefits. Drinking must have been fun at first or the person would have stopped soon after starting. With enough drinking the costs grow, even if awareness of those costs lags behind.

Fortunately, the closer you are to someone the more influence you can have on the actual costs and benefits, and on helping that individual to realize that the experience of drinking has changed (and it’s time to get motivated to stop drinking!).

8 tips for communicating with a husband who drinks

The suggestions below could be used for helping anyone you are close with to stop (or cut back) any substance or activity addiction. To keep it simple, we’ll talk about helping your husband stop drinking. In this article we’ll focus on communication. In future articles we’ll focus on how to shift the cost-benefit analysis by increasing the costs of drinking, increasing the benefits of not drinking, and supporting new behaviors that replace drinking.

1. Converse when he is sober and in a good mood.  How long alcohol takes to leave the system varies by drinker, so be sure that your husband is in the clear.

2. Don’t give up! Stay in the conversation as long as you can.

3. Acknowledge that you have (perhaps) given him a hard time in the past.

4. Compliment him when you can.

5. Break bigger questions into smaller ones. If he can’t answer the big question (what do you like about drinking) perhaps he can answer the smaller question (what did you like about drinking Friday night?).

6. Acknowledge his point of view, and accept it or ask about it (Does it seem like I’m trying to psychoanalyze you?). You are here to understand, not disagree.

7. Make mental notes during the conversation, and perhaps written ones as soon as possible thereafter, about the benefits of drinking he has described. He is opening up his world to you. This information will be the foundation for what you do next.

8. End the conversation by thanking him and promising to think about what he has said.

How can you start taking?

When your husband is NOT drinking, ask him what he likes about drinking. Perhaps the conversation might go as follows:

Wife: I’ve been thinking that maybe I don’t understand your drinking well enough. I know we have fought about it. We both know that much! But I wonder if I have pushed too hard without understanding enough first.

Husband: Are you looking for ANOTHER fight?

Wife: No, I’m not. What I’m curious about is, what do you like about drinking? I realize I may not understand your drinking very much. Would you tell me what you like about drinking?

Husband: Why would you want to know that?

Wife: Obviously you like to drink. You wouldn’t do something unless you thought it benefited you. You are a smart person, that’s one of the reasons I married you. I know I have focused on all the things I think are bad about drinking, but only you could tell me what the benefits are. I’d like to know.

Husband: So what are you going to do with that information?

Wife: At first I just want to think about it. Your drinking has a history. The benefits associated with it are probably complex. I want to start by understanding it better. I think it will also help me understand you better. I know I have given you a hard time about drinking. I’d like to make a fresh start. So, what do you like about drinking?

Husband: That’s a hard question to answer.

Wife: OK, let’s take Saturday night for instance. It was a moderate night for you. You seemed to enjoy yourself. What was enjoyable?

Husband: I just had a few glasses of wine that night. I wouldn’t call that drinking! You know that when people are around I don’t drink very much.

Wife: Well, OK, why don’t you pick I time where you were drinking more? How about one of the nights last week?

Husband: You mean like a night when I start drinking as soon as I get home from work and then stay up late drinking after all of you go to bed?

Wife: Yes, a night like that.

Husband: I don’t know.

Wife: OK, that’s interesting. Are you sure you don’t know or would you just prefer not to tell me?

Husband: I never really thought about why I like to drink, I just like to drink!

Wife: So maybe we can both learn something. Aren’t you curious about your own behavior?

Husband: Not really. I just like to drink. It seems to me a lot of people like to drink, and they don’t need to be psychoanalyzed about it!

Wife: OK, you’ve stayed with me this far in this conversation. I’d like you to keep going with me a bit more. Does it seem like I’m trying to psychoanalyze you?

Husband: All right, I guess not. But that doesn’t mean I can answer your question, or even want to.

Wife: I understand. Would you answer a few basic questions?

Husband: I’ll try, but I’m not promising anything.

Wife: Thanks. I appreciate the effort you are making. How about this? Let’s pick last Friday night, because it’s the last night you drank by yourself. OK?

Husband: OK

Wife: That night, you waited a bit longer than you sometimes do. You had got home about 5:30, but you didn’t start drinking until 6:30. Why did you wait?

Husband: I had promised [their son] that I would play catch with him for awhile. I knew I could still throw the ball even with a beer or two. But I wanted to be completely free when I began drinking. I was dying to drink, but thought I better wait.

Wife: I remember he was happy you played with him. That was sweet of you.

Husband: I should spend more time with him, but work is so stressful I need to unwind somehow, and playing catch doesn’t cut it.

Wife: I think you just gave us one benefit of drinking. Work is stressful. Drinking helps you unwind, and perhaps especially on Friday.

Husband: I could have told you THAT!

Wife: (laughing) Not two minutes ago!

Husband: OK, do you feel better now? I drink because it helps me unwind. Isn’t it obvious?

Wife: I have often thought that you drink to unwind, its true. But I’ve never heard you say it. I feel better knowing you also think that. But maybe there are some other reasons?

Husband: Well, you know how bad work has been….

How can you start the conversation about drinking?

In the example above, the husband is is now more engaged in the conversation about alcohol use. You can do the same. When are you planning to start a similar conversation with your husband? Are you nervous about approaching the subject of alcohol use in your couple? Please share your questions, comments, or feedback below.

Want to learn more?  Next, we’ll focus on how to shift the cost-benefit analysis by increasing the costs of drinking, increasing the benefits of not drinking, and supporting new behaviors that replace drinking.

About the author
Practical Recovery, in San Diego, California, offers self-empowering, non 12-step addiction treatment across all levels of care (outpatient, sober living, rehab). Treatment focuses on underlying problems, and is provided by a multi-disciplinary team of mostly doctoral level providers who collaborate with clients to create completely individualized and empirically supported treatment plans based on the client's goals, values and situation.


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  1. My boy friend has started more smoking and paper . Yesterday, by ownself he told me that he use paper smoke sometimes and he smokes cigarettes more.We are in distance relationship and now I want that he left this bad habit but I don’t know how can i do it.

    1. Does your partner like any other activities that would not include drinking? This could be a start if you take interest in this activity with him. You both could try a new activity he may have made a comment about something he has never tried before and do that actively. So many options, don’t give up.

    1. Hi Swati. I suggest you talk with your husband about his drinking, and try both to find solution.
      Also, you could check out Allies in Recovery, an NGO that works with families to intervene with problem addicts using CRAFT intervention model:
      Here are some more helpful links:
      I hope this will help!

  2. This conversation doesn’t seem like the conversation between a husband and wife. When you are close to someone and they think they know everything about you when you ask too many questions it gets more defensive than the responses stated by the husband. It seems more like a therapist talking to a patient. I can’t even mention the topic to my husband without it being defensive. I don’t know what to do but fight about it. Is there any hope? I’ve left him in the past and he quit for three years, we got back together. Things were fine but then I went to a few parties with him and it started back over again. Now when I bring it up it’s MY fault. Is there no hope for us? I don’t want to live in bubble and I don’t want my husband to backslide and go crazy because of me. Is there any hope? I can’t balance his addiction with my need to let loose once in a while. It’s getting to the point where I’m feeling like we aren’t meant to be together. I need some useful advise or I feel our relationship won’t last. We have 5 children. I’m trying to save our marriage.

  3. My husband 43 and I’m 29 he seems to drink everyday … 6 pm comes @ he picks up his first round … I mean sometimes I’m afraid to approach and tell to please stop drinking cuz it can be an argument … these days have been so stressful that my period haven’t even came … our arguements are the same over and over again my mind thinks to much literally cry every dam day …. m tired what do I do to make this stop to the point I hate him already but my heart still loves him …. I want to ignore him but I just can’t, really his drinking bothers me … it’s really hurting my family … my daughters see us do this everyday .. can someone tell me what I can do… I pray everyday to make him change

  4. Somebody described themselves as feeling lonely. I really connect with that. Alcohol has become my husbands partner I feel like he would prefer to drink and smoke with our neighbour than do anything with my three children or myself. Nightly he goes and walks the dogs, thats his excuse to load up around 8 beer and a pack smokes and head to the woods till the wee hours of the morning. On the weekends he starts drinking after lunch and will usually be easily down about 12 beer by sundown. I am so scared to talk to him as he get really angry and will look at me with hatred if I even mention his drinks. He puts us into overdraft every two weeks and I sometimes can’t even feed my kids. I have tried to take his debit card away but he get furious. He now lies and takes cash out on payday and tells me it was for car pool money. I constantly question if he has a problem but deep down I know he does. I’m just really scared of him I want to help him but I don’t want to loose him either. I have been with him for 28 years. I really don’t know what to do. He hates talking!

  5. My husband’s drinking has became the pit of our marriage, he quite a very well paid job, leaving Me to pay the bills and food for our family of 8 , which I will without a second thought, but he now is taking from our means to buy and lie about it and then upset, and turns it on me… I need to know where to got from here.. he wants help but not AA or rehab??

  6. things are the same I guess sorry to say. He is out on the couch at 7;30 on a tues. night. On wed. I help out at church for about 2 hours, he’ll be dumb drunk enough that he,ll be pissed off. Its not like he talks to me anyway,if he isn,t around me I don,t know he is drinking. Glad I,m not really that stupid! Soon it will be Fri. he will drink by #;00 not eat get up Sat. drink, not eat and Sun. feel bad eat alittle but still drink. His blood pressure is staying high,he is going to the dr. about it, won’t even consider beer might be a problem. I don’t think he wants to be happy, he likes complaining to much. Guess I don’t help, I just pray one day he can see life ain’t that bad. We have been blessed.

  7. My husband stopped drinking after our first eleven years of marriage. (I had to leave him for about 3 weeks) He asked me to come back if he stopped drinking. I did and for 12 years everything was wonderful. He was sober!! We didn’t fight anymore and all was well for both of us. THEN…all hell broke loose. HE HAD A 5 YEAR AFFAIR AND I FOUND OUT. This was the most horrible thing that he could have done to our relationship and me. I felt betrayed and terribly HURT. The PAIN was unbearable!! He continued the relationship with her for about another 7 months, and I had more pain to deal with. I thought I would go crazy. He finally ended the affair and I thought all would be well with some healing. NOT SO. He started drinking again. By this time he was recently retired and said he needed to drink because it made him feel good. I was told that he likes to drink and it is only beer now. What is the big deal. He loves me very much and wants to continue our marriage. I Love Him also and can’t picture him not with me, but he isn’t the same person when he drinks, no matter how much or how little. He drinks every day and we fight quite a bit unless I try to ignore it, like he wants me to. What am I to do? I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to stay either. HELP..I’M LOST!!

  8. My husband has been a heavy alcoholic for 30 plus years. He has done it all, been arrested more than once, caused a car accident that resulted in injury, been to counseling, assaulted and hurt very badly, lied, stolen, the list goes on. In the past three years trips to the er are happening 2-4 times from him being so sick. Docs tell him he is going to die if he doesn’t stop drinking. He does not care. He listens at the time, then back at it. He is on medication Flagyl to make him ill if he drinks while taking it…I give him the pill so I know he is taking it, but he is still drinking. I an at my wits end he is 55 and looks 80. is there any herbs or neds I can add to it to make him super ill when drinking and want to stop or is it just a lost cause? So very tired of it all.

  9. hie
    am singo cool guy i guess i need help to quite alchol
    first am not voilence person indeed when ever when am sober but when i start pour that thing in me i can’t stop till someone who is strange come to me ask me to stop or take me home because of his/she cares so i just need to stop that being carried on my way home whan am drunk i don’t know if i can get help on this

    and am nearly loosing Wife my son beloved who cares about me those who i leave with so i do think like to live nice life like kings only need help from you if you can


    alcoholic quite

    willing to hear advises from soon

    poor guy

    Clayton singo

  10. hi there i have a husband that binsh drinks and i am giving up…he suffers from anxiety and depression and is curently on anti-deppresants..he gets bad atk’s from alcohole the day after drinking and we are always fighting about it and he’s only solution to the problem is “we dont work anymore why dont u just leave me”…i love him alot and i have 3 kids with him and i really see what the alchol is doing to him but it is almost like he doesnt cear about it…i have spoken to him alot about it asking him why he likes to drink and then he tells me it relaxes him from a weeks work but he has medication for it to help him cope with stress….pleas i need help despritly… just tonight he went out and it is 1am in the morning and he has trouble with the law now i am really tired

  11. I have been with my husband for almost 14 years. He’s been drinking since the beginning. Before we met he already went through rehab. We have 3 kids. The youngest is 11. I read all the stories here and I could have written 99% of them. My husband says he likes drinking and that it helps him relax. Due to running his own business he’s stressed all the time so he needs to relax all the time too. The worst part is that a lot of times he gets alcohol from his clients. When he goes out to buy his own it’s always beer and even though he gets drunk on it is not as bad as other alcohol. But his clients bring him moonshine etc. He gets drunk on it until he passes out. For 2 to 3 days. Usually on the weekends. It breaks my heart that my kids don’t even see him because during the week he works and during the weekend I cover for him saying that daddy is tired or sick and needs to rest. We had the talk 100s of times. He promises every time that he will slow down but he never does. I’m completely alone emotionally because he’s totally absent. He’s also a pathological lair and has very low level of empathy. He doesn’t care how much his drinking is hurting our family. Tells me to leave him if I don’t like his drinking. Also tells me that I’m crazy for complaining because I should be happy that he doesn’t beat me. I also noticed that he’s becoming more forgetful, short tempered and “basic”. For example sometimes he doesn’t care about what he looks like and as a excuse he says that real men don’t care about things like that. All it matters is that he works. I’m worried that his brain cells are getting destroyed. As well as being alcoholics he is a workaholic and is busy 24/7. Even though I’m married I feel like a single parent and I’m so lonely that I would love to be able to leave him and find a loving partner for the next 40 years of my life so I finally wouldn’t be alone. The problem is that I work for my husband so I’m stuck. Also because of my efforts to cover up for him my kids don’t know the truth about their daddy and they would be in complete shock if we were to split. When he’s not drunk he’s a good father. Never hurt me or the children physically. But emotionally I’m dead. It’s getting harder and harder for me to cover up for him and the stress is taking toll on my health. Mental and physical. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. Some nights I wish I won’t wake up the next morning. I just don’t have the energy to exist anymore. It’s an adult version of failure to thrive. Most days I’m like a zombie. Even though I’m only 40 I feel like I’m 80. Don’t have any plans or hopes for the future anymore. All that died in me some time ago. I feel like I failed my children by bringing them into this world and now I’m deathly afraid that they will up like me. It would kill me if one of them ended up with an alcoholic partner. That is my biggest fear. Nothing can be worse than that.

  12. My partner dependent on alcohol bit funnily enough not in the house never drinks in the house? He talks about ending his life this really hurts as i awork nites at the hosp and hes been in a&e a few times it really scares me when hes no money this is wen it all starts but what he doesnt understand is thats what his moneys going on

    1. Hi Anna. Call a toll-free Alcohol Helpline on 1-888-675-1820 to find a high-quality alcohol addiction treatment program. This helpline is accessible 24/7 and gives you the chance to speak with trusted treatment consultants who can help your partner find an alcohol recovery program suited to their individual needs.

  13. thanks for replying,wasnt expecting that. Doris thanks also for what you wrote. I have tried and tried to talk to my husband, he is a pro at twisting it all around you see he has no problem, its my problem just got done as a matter of fact. he has health problems ..has tests done every year, oh he cares about me then,but thankfully we get good news and he needs me no more. I sound uncaring I guess been told I was an enabler to larry maybe just another reason to blame me again. don’t know if he cares how my heart breaks every night for him have my doubts he would. maybe

  14. My boyfriend is a heavy drinker ever since his mom passed away he was in Prison the time of her death it’s been really hard on him cause he was not able to attend the services. Once he got out and he started drinking heavily everyday for the past 5 yrs and now he’s been to the doctor and he.s having liver problems he’s taking pills for I can’t get much info from doctors cause we are not married but I’m just tired of it all my kids see it all the time we have tried and talk about with each other even try to set some kinda agreement to how much he can drink a day but he always ends up going behind my back his family has tried talking to him nothing just won’t work and i don’t know what to do at this point my kids would hate me if I left him but it also scares me that he won’t wake up one night or something will happen well he is drunk a fire or a Break in I love him I truly do I just don’t know how to help him I’m always worried leaving my kids with while working.

  15. Hi my husband is a drinker but he I ask him to stop but he says I can’t stop him because it’s in his blood so he drinks last February,April,and may so what should I do? please help me. I even get mad to his friends because of inviting things that even though I said no already but he did it anyways because he doesn’t want me to stop him and he also just listens to his friends.his gonna turn 38 on December? If you love a person you have to take care of don’t want him to die or having a liver cancer

    1. Hi Chanda. Call a toll-free Alcohol Helpline on 1-888-675-1820 to find a high-quality alcohol addiction treatment program. This helpline is accessible 24/7 and gives you the chance to speak with trusted treatment consultants who can help you find an alcohol recovery program suited to your individual needs.

  16. Hi, My name is Doris and I’m an alcoholic. I have 7 years sobriety, am now 50 years old, and was single for 6 years before getting remarried last year. I was a gung-ho AA member, I love recovery and sobriety. My current husband drank once in a while before we got married, smokes pot. Around my house I had rules ” No alcohol or drugs”. Then I decided that this man was my Soul-mate. God, I was so in love. The drinking had progressively gotten worse. He has been arrested for drunk in public x 1. He has been shot 9 times up on our property after drinking fireball all day. Yesterday, he got in a fight in the hospital room with family members as his grandmother lay on her death bed. He has alienated all of my friends, my son, both sides of his family, multiple friends, quit his job, make excuses as to why drinking helps the “anxiety, PTSD”
    Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful! Alcoholism is the disease of denial. Alcoholics are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. Playing the victim, unable to see the truth.
    There is no winning this fight. His best friend is alcohol. I feel like an idiot for not seeing this coming. I don’t know how my ex-husband put up with me as an alcoholic for 15+ years. I would have kicked my own ass. AA really helped me. Taught me how to live life sober. I stopped going to meetings, now I feel like I’m insane for staying with an alcoholic. I’m so disappointed in myself. I pray for it to magically just change one day, but I know it won’t. What is his rock bottom?
    Just wanted to share ladies. There is hope, there is help.

  17. This for my husband he takes for ever to get home from work because he buys a case of beer every fortnight and three long necks. I don’t drink anymore because I’m suffering from drinking l need a transplant and that will happen to my husband if he doesn’t stop drinking I’m ready to leave him I can’t stand the lies and the hurtful things he says to me about anything and its stressing me a lot. Please help me I have completely given up. Nicole

  18. Hi my husband drinks everyday for the last 7 years he used to drink beer first then hard liquor just that with ice and beer on the side now he drinks vodka and tonic everyday after work he has 7 or 8 glasses untill he is reaaddy to pass out I v tried to cope and be supportive nicely tell him to stop drinking he said he won’t and the only thing he is scared Is work ,he says he doesn’t care if we leave him we have 3 kids together we are married for almost 9 years I can’t do I anymore

  19. today is my birthday, but like any weekend at home he started drinking this morning we did do some work today around here, but by this afternoon he was dumb…….. drunk. went out on the couch spilled his beer and now has woke up its 9pm. but everything is just fine and dandy. I really don”t expect big things Im not that kind of person but sometimes the loneliness breaks my heart. there is no conversation no talking about kids,life love us I am his caretaker not his wife not his lover not his friend im just here hanging on to memories of a life that wont happen maybe it will get easier its like agrieving of our life we could of had.

    1. Hi Just tired. I suggest that you seriously talk with your husband about your problems. Maybe you should consider marriage counseling or other form of family therapy to resolve your issues.

  20. what should i do when my husband’s says he can sleep comfortably after drinking otherwise he doesn’t sleep at all .I am in night shift completely.please suggest what to do.

    1. Hi Pratibha. Your husband should see a doctor about his sleep disorders. There are many natural medications that may help him sleep.

  21. I totally agree with you Stevie. I have been fighting this fight for 27 years. You can’t win. You can’t punch “her” in the face and stake your claim. It’s a lose lose. Walk away.

  22. Wow I’m in tears reading some these replies…I been married for soon to be 14 yrs and well although he/we drank (me 1 or 2 to unwind ) him in the beginning the same but over the years has progressed to id say 10-12 + everyday for the last 10 years he is one of the most humblest hard working providing material things and paying bills for his family person I know I actually told him a couple weeks ago I believed he is what they call a functioning alcoholic he ONLY wants to talk about any issues we having when he is is drunk and me I just try to stay clear I refuse to try and make a alcoholic understand something while under the influence. But I’m at the point in ready to throw in the towel because it’s not fair for our 9 yr old although he isn’t mean to her to have to watch him drink EVERY SINGLE DAY BUT when I think of throwing in the towel of course I’d be the one to have to leave a home we built together cause well he says it and it’s on family land but yes house has my name on it! And I feel I shouldn’t have to walk away and settle for less when I have 14 yrs invested there just like him so I’m kind of stuck between a rock and hard place and I guess it’s time just for some free legal advice from a divorce attorney is all I know to do. I really wish his mom and 18 yr old from a previous marriage would INSTED of sugar coating why he drinks and basically applauding cause he “works hard for us ” would tell him the cold hard truth it’s killing him and the family but I think I can wish on cause that will not happen makes me
    Wonder why though ? Idk I do work everyday 40+hours myself!!! Then home to work another 2 jobs all while yes he either on phone or doing something in yard sucking them suds I’m MENTALLY, Emotionally, and physically TIRED! I get sick at the thought of going home and that’s sad cause for first 10 yrs I swore I had the perfect marriage but the last 4 we have drifffed so so so far apart due to the fact we can’t communicate cause of the drinking!

  23. my father drinks alot every day nd every single night..
    he used to fight with my mom nd beat all of us badly …
    all this thing is from the day i was born nd may b even before that…
    all our relatives stop talking to us …
    he become reckless nd abuse badly…
    hope u will show a way to get rid of this problem it has been more than 20 yrs v r suffering…

  24. This conversation is not realistic. Many alcoholics will immediately become defensive, no matter what mood you catch him or her in. I agree that it is important to keep the focus off of the person and on the situation. However, these conversations are very difficult unless the drinking is not very progressed, or until the alcoholic has hit his or her bottom. Otherwise, from experience, the conversation will usually turn into a fight and a blame game. So what do you do? Ultimatums work sometimes, but only if you have the courage to follow through. I gave an ultimatum once, and it worked, but only until he realized I wouldn’t follow through. I can’t; he’s my soul mate. So what do I do??

  25. How do you talk to someone that comes straight in from work then starts drinking till he goes to sleep. He does know he has a problem but don’t want to fix it . Iam about to really loose it. Please any advice

  26. I have a husband who is drinking every night after work. He comes to home and watching TV after that.. But whenever i am asking him about the drinking and smoking character he got angry and throwing things here and there . if i wont ask anything about drinking he will be also calm. To keep peaceful home atmosphere sometime i too keep quiet even though i know he is drunkard..As i have one daughter and she also feels very bad that her dad is drinking and smoking badly. My husband is having Diabetics and that is the reason y i am afraid about these bad characters.. normally diabetics patient not supposed to drink alcohol. My husband always hides that he is drunkard and he is parking his car outside my apartment and drinking alcohol.. whenever he finishes he will come to home as if nothing had happened.. Whenever myself and my daughter requests him and tell him emotionally to stop drinking that moment he will say he wont repeat.. but after that he will do the same in night. Since he is a diabetic patient i cant allow him to drink..But i dont know how i can make him know about the consequnces. Could you please advice me how can i get rid off from this issue..?

  27. I AGREE, They don’t want to listen to hope or reason. to my husband, ‘life is a bitch and I am the cause.’ HE’S NOT phyisicaly abusive, but the mental play is so hard to live with. Who knows when it will happen again. He doesn’t understand why our kids don’t come around as much, he won’t eat cause his stomach hurts, couldn’t be all the beer. He has trouble sleeping but that is my fault I snore and that is just to make him mad of course, I’m 55 have always stayed home with our kids, and helped on our farm . Now I babysit our grandkids,but I don’t have a clue on how hard real hard work is. HE’LL retire in a little over two years, I of course will still care for my kids as long as God allows,it just doesn’t pay . Leaving doesn’t look like an option for me.When you have not had a public job you aren’t considered as much in this world. Why do alcoholics always see others faults but never see theirs? We’ll never be able to talk, and I don’t know if there is anything to say anymore.

  28. Having this conversation doesnt work. I tried it for 10yrs. I loved him with all my heart. You are fighting a losing battle with an alcoholic. Rationalising doesnt work (nor pleading, shouting, hitting..even leaving them doesnt work..Ive been gone nearly two years, no contact, and he’s still drinking). It is terrifying & agony but part of them & your relationship has died..I have basically had to give up the man I love for dead….or I will die too. I have had to start my life over. His life goes on the same. Him and the alcohol. His priority & true love/friend is alcohol. Its always there, doesnt question him or critise, makes no demands, is a source of comfort & connection with other acoholics. You can not compete with that, you are only human..whilst alcohol is his God. You have to save yourself.

  29. Hi, I hv been married to my husband for 17yrs nw do knw wht the pblms he has whn he is nt drunk he says i will stop bt again he will be in same position realy fet up wth his drinking habits ask him to cm to doctor he never agree to come whn he is nice i explain him hw he behaves whn he drunk he used all bad wrds talking himself its mking my life hell pls pls pls advise me wht shuld i do i try my leavel best i hv a son of 14yrs old bez of him i hv to stay wth my husband bt i want to live wth my hubby happily pls help me

  30. My husband has a problem of drinking,each and every Friday he didn’t sleep, he drinks all the night at a club without even sleep,i try to talk to him several times but still there is no change I’m confused now and even think to quit in this relationship but my stress is for the kids what makes me worse confused is that even if is drunk he is not abusing us but he is misusing money as sometimes seems as if is not working always not having money.

  31. I don’t think I can start the conversation, I have done it so many times and yesterday I exploded, he said ” if you don’t like it then you can pack your bags and leave” we have just spent a lot of money moving from Canada, I have kids and grandkids, I feel like a failure, this is my second marriage and my first husband was also an alcoholic, I didn’t see this one coming, or maybe I didn’t want to

  32. We got married when we were very young,almost 40 yrs. now. His brother and best friend died of cancer a few yrs. ago. We have wonderful growen kids all close by. A very hard worker and has always taken care of his family. He has always drank a lot if times to much but after his brothers death its as though he has died inside to. I feel more of a caretaker then his wife. Everyday after work he drinks till passes out on weekends it starts around 8 or 9am all day. He will look at me when I try to talk to him like he has never hated anyone more. he’ll repeat the same thing over and over again. The next morning acts like nothing has happened. I am so very tired and feel so alone.sometimes I feel as though he’d been better off it had been me not his brother

  33. I’ve been reading about alcoholism and alcohol abuse for months now. Someone close to me abuses alcohol. I instinctively know that these sample questions will not work.

    If the alcohol problem is proper alcoholism then there is a chemical addiction/dependency situation going on that cannot be rationalised out of. Intellect cannot win.

    What makes me angry is that many of those whom are alcoholics are that way because of deep seated anxiety. They drink to ease anxiety. A simple drug, baclofen, has been used to treat alcoholism to great effect in many people but it’s not a popular option because Big Pharma can’t make huge profits from it. Baclofen is a relatively old medication and thus relatively cheap.

    If someone’s drinking is based on and driven by anxiety, baclofen may be useful.

  34. My boyfriend of four years is an alcoholic. I know they say you can’t change a person and I’m not trying to I’m just trying to get him to see how better off he would be if he was to stop or even slow it down. I can’t understand why he does it but I’m assuming it was what he saw his father and other relatives do and on top of that all of his friends drinks but he is the only one who doesn’t know his limits . His has been trying but its like he does it only to keep me from arguing with him then he’ll go right back. We now.have a 1 year old daughter and I think I’m at my breaking point I feel like I can’t continue to monitor him like a mother I have her to focus on now and she didn’t ask for any of this. Im in need of some serious guidance.. I don’t know if this is worth fighting for anymore!

  35. Hi Everyone. I have a husband that drinks every day after work on Sunday’s sometimes he’ll have a drink most Sunday’s nothing. Just recently he let me down in big way where I threw his ass out because he came to me blind as bat and we had huge fight and he pushed the wall in I told him to leave he wouldn’t then next day doors locked when he came home he thought all was forgotten but it wasn’t his bag was packed and out the front. he was sorry but not sorry enough they think they can just disrepect us and get away with it on wed 11.30pm no way am I going to put up with this I had a father that drank a lot growing up I know what alcohol does my husband wouldn’t lay a hand on me but pushing walls and being a sloppy husband and father no good don’t need or want someone like that is my life what example is your husband showing his kids. I have been with my hubby for 16 years and been married for 7 we have two young daughters one 2 and half and one just turned 5. We deserve better don’t put up and shut up you deserve respect and love a marriage is equals. Good luck 🙂 ?

  36. My husband drinks like he can’t get enough. And I tried to talk to him but he says the same owe thing over and over. I get so tired of the drinking. He carries one in his hand and one in his back pockets. I think I am going to separate from him just leave then he can drink all be wont’s.

  37. I need help with my husband and what to do or not do. He has been passed out off and on for four weeks going. He has Aspergers Syndrome and has never gotten any good help. AA has not been enough for him. I am about ready to let him go but feel like I want to be sure I have tried everything

  38. What the f*ck is this crap?!?!? I am an alcoholic. I know I am. Anyone bringing this psyronizing shit salad to my attention obviously knows I drink too much. Guess what. I’m the rare drunk who recognizes she has a problem. I’m also the bread winner who has been pulling my self together well enough to support your ass got the last decade. I’m doing my best to help hold things together (by taking on all the financial responsibility for our family —you know like pulling $20000 out of thin f*cking air to keep our family going?!?!). Meanwhile I’m tip toeing my way to figuring my shit out with the drinking while still holding my shit together in public. If my spouse spoke to me in the patronizing way described above, I’d go buy the biggest f*cking bottle I could and drink it down right in there face do they wouldn’t pull that shit again.

  39. I have been with my husband for almost ten years. We have to daughters together. My husband is a hard worker, he does great things for us. He’s seriously a great person, but he drinks! Not everyday, but a couple to a few days a week. I think if he didn’t worry so much about what I how I feel about him drinking that he’d drink more. He has been raised by alcoholics, although I love his family they are a huge downfall to him. Overall, he stays away from them because he does acknowledge that they’re toxic in some ways. Over the past ten years he has had three dui’s. Its been costly and put our family through hardships. The thing is he knows he is wrong for drinking too much and making bad decisions, but every once in awhile he messes up. I live in fear because I watch him drink and wonder is this the day he messes up. I know my husband and he is sincerely sorry for putting us through this, but it seems like he just can’t stop. I’m seriously losing my mind. His good qualities definitely outweigh the bad, but being with an alcoholic is stressful. I found this site to be helpful, but my problem is he acknowledges he has issues, but doesn’t follow through with slowing down or quitting. Its excuse after excuse. I’m about to walk away,but if there’s any advice someone can give me so I can keep my family together, I’m all ears. Thank you for reading this.

  40. Hi, I’ve been with my hubby for 15 years, since I was 16. He’s always been a bit if a drinker but since we’ve had our two children (eldest is 6) he’s now drinking every day. He no longer works so he gets up 9ish and gets his beers (super strength 8 a day)in then comes home and starts drinking straightaway-until bedtime. i try to mention he should cut down and he insists he’s not an alcoholic. If I’m totally honest, I prefer him drinking- he’s more fun, relaxed, playful. And when he’s sober he’s irritable, unsociable and very stressful. The problem is he is leading us further and further into debt, we can’t afford holidays or new clothes- just scrape by with the basics. And I really worry about his health, he’s 10 years older than me and I’m terrified he gonna make himself seriously ill. Any advice?? Thanks xx

  41. hi iam so worried these days. My husband to be likes alchole and its getting too much. we stay together and when he is drunk he becomes an animal that i cant explain. I fear that he might do something stupid without knowing. he does not drink everyday bt mostly wen he hangs out with his friends. i love him and really want him to quit because i fear for him that it might get worse. He seems not to see the danger of it and he apologises alot after hurting me but i just want him to be sober 24/7

  42. I am 20 years old and I’m Eight months for pregnancy but my husband is not care about me he care about alcohol. Sometimes he left me alone in the night and he go to the taven may be two days or more than that almost a week. I now I get a stress because of that. I don’t know how can I do.

  43. my husband do have a drinking problem becaus everynight he goes out to a tavern for drunk and i dont know what els ,i gave birth recenrly to our second son and he still never change one bit not for us or neither for our children,i love my husband so much and i want a much beter life with him but it looks like without drinking he cant have a beter life with us.he comes late home more angry when he enter the house and sometimes it feels like i just need to give up on us but then i look at him thinking his the father of my children how can i just leave him i realy love him alot but i want him to stop with this drunk everynight its hurting me more and he is happy about that he love his way of drinking he even get angry when i talk to him about this drunk issue.i realy need advice and help on this.

    1. Hi Unknown. I suggest you speak with your husband about your concerns. Also, you may consider counseling sessions that can help you both you and your husband to overcome your problems. Further, you may look into the CRAFT intervention model. One NGO called Allies in Recovery: works with families to intervene with problem addicts using.

  44. HELPLESS…your story is so similar to mine only I am probably at least 20 ears older. I have been with my husband 20 years. Our fathers both drank and screamed all the time and threatened abandonment. Children of alcoholics OFTEN end up with similar partners. We believe that the outcome will be different for us but it hardly ever is. I never had kids cuz I think we both knew we’d never be able to be good parents. I have ended up unemployable and totally dependent on him. I thank God he’s not physically abusive. He is obnoxoious to the pount i feel like i am talking to a retarded 6 year old. On the days hes sober i remember why i married him and have hope again. But it never lasts. The time passes so fast. The best advice I can give you is to take steps to be dependent. To be able to support your children. Then you have leverage and power. Never stop doing things to improve YOURSELF. Make sure you don’t lose track of who you are and the mommy your children love! After awhile you may not care if u love him or you just will have had enough. Please don’t avoid family and friends. Right now my husband is so drunk he’s peed himself. I have no feelings anymore. I cannot support myself due to disability, but have been denied Social Security. You don’t want to end up like this.

  45. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and we are expecting our third child. Alcoholism runs in his family. When I met him I didn’t think much. Our first trip to Mexico. He was so drunk fell over and nearly choked me. I have never been touched before. When we got home over the next few months He would drink straight vodka. Fall asleep. Get angry mean and abusive. He then can go months without anything and we are happy once again. Then there he goes. I feel like a babysitter and feel like I can’t even leave the kids alone with him because he’ll drink and pass out. Hiding beers drinking and hiding his stuff. I hate walking on egg shells around him. I let him pass out. He has recently starting doing it again. Drinking beers and now hard alcohol again. Tonight he walked in toppled over bad and passed out on the couch. His step dad passed away today but he’s been sick for a while. I almost knew this was going to happen. I feel,so trapped unhappy. Sometimes it hurts.

  46. My fiance is a heavy drinker and he also uses it to unwind after work. We’re both teachers and i know he puts a lot of energy into teaching, but we teach adults english and it’s not that stressful… anyhow, he generally opens his first drink on saturday abot 10 in the morning and that’s after a heavy friday. Every night he has 3 to 6 beers and/or a few bottles of wine. He just recently got divorcred and instead of talking about it he drank from morning to night. I nearly left him… i guess my problem is that i don’t know how to talk to him. He gets really defensive when the subject is brought up. He gets angry because we used to binge drink together. I have stopped and only have a few beers in a week now, trying to encourage him through my actions. He thinks i’m judging him or being hypocritical if i ask him about his drinking. Really i’m worried and i feel myself becoming resentful because it’s the only thing we can’t have an open dialogue about. I’m going to try the conversation in this blog and cross my fingers it helps.., if it doesn’t, how can i tell him my limits of what i can or can’t accept and behaviour without sounding threatening? Thanks for the help. I’m feeling helpless and desperate at the moment but feel i can’t give up on him yet.

  47. My boyfriend drinks daily. I know he drinks during the week (although I cannot say how much because we don’t live together) but he starts after work and goes on through the evening. On the weekends, all of our outings involve bars and drinking and I am quite fed up with it. However, it is too easy to enable his drinking because I enjoy social drinking, and when he drinks he is more outgoing, extra sweet, and loving. However the costs outweigh the benefits, and the sheer quantity and frequency is horrible (and if he drinks liquor he gets drunk really fast). I hate to see him weaving when he walks and slurring his speech. Such a turn-off. On top of this, my casual drinking has increased in the years we’ve been together and I am not comfortable with that. We just discussed the seriousness of this matter and he says he is embarrassed and wants to stop. He says although he strongly wants to do it on his own, he is afraid he can’t because he hasn’t been able to yet. I don’t know how to help him. Are there resources or secular groups, etc. that you can refer us to? I know this is more difficult than it seems and he is going to have a tough time joining any groups and speaking openly about this.

  48. I’ve talked to my husband on various occasions that i think ot would our relatioship if he took it easy on the beer or just stopped. He only says to me that he thinks he’s come a long way since when he first started and I say to myself that hes only 22 why is it so hard for him? He comes out and says that that is who he is and he just cant help it. I dont drink at all ever since i had my daughter 4 years ago, and it hurts to see that she’ll hand her dad a beer if he asks for it and she thinks its normal. He sometimes leaves after I’ve gone to sleep to go drink with his friends and I dont want it to become a habit. I love him and dont want to leave him but i feel like its just becoming too much. I dont know what to do anymore.

  49. I’m not sure when my husband would come home drunk… Weekdays or weekends. Has a good job .He denies he’s drunk, always lies even if he cannot walk or talk properly after drinking.

  50. My husband drinks whole day and night. When I am sleeping he wakes me and beats me for no reasons. He talks by himself. He’s a policeman and it’s been one month he is not going to work.

  51. I grew up with my father drinking. He would hit my
    Mother behind closed doors when he was drunk. I hate alcohol with a passion. As I got older I vowed that I would always protect my children from seeing people drinking even having alcohol in my home. I met my husband when I was only in middle school. 16 years this year. He picked up drinking when he started a roofing job and began to drinking heavily. Tequila. Mixed drinks you name it. A few years after the began popping pills and mixing it with alcohol. To the point where we separated. He wasn’t himself he was mean to me verbally and violent to hitting walls and breaking something. Told me he didn’t care and that I could have it all. That he wasn’t coming back. Emotionally it killed me inside that I couldn’t do anything to help him stop. We got back together after he committed himself to seeking help with god. We’re going to a wonderful church. But now I feel like he’s starting down that same path. He doesn’t even see it. He’s taking in so much (work wise) and doesn’t know how to say no to people. Phone always ringing and can even sit down to eat. So he’s under a lot of pressure. He would drink 2 or 3 drinks while we’re out having dinner. And pick up more after. Then says he’s alright after drinking. But deep down I know he’s not. He’s becoming very short tempered and lashes out at any little thing. I’m at ease when he’s not home and as soon as he walks through the door I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. And need to be careful in what I say and do so he doesn’t go off. I can’t do this anymore I don’t have the strength to fight in me. I don’t want to go back to that same lifestyle. I don’t want my children to grow up in this sickening environment. I want better for them. Sad to say but at this very moment I’m sitting on the floor making sure he doesn’t come in the house tonight. And it’s almost 1am. GOD HELP ME!!!! I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk to him letting him know that he’s first off hurting himself, me, our children, and our marriage but nothing is going through. Please please please help me. I feel so lost and alone.

  52. I’m 23 and my fiance’s 25, it’s just14 days since he came at my place to spend his vacation and he’s been drinking almost everyday.. Doesn’t cause much trouble when he’s drunk but I want him to stop and yes talked to him about it when he’s sober..all I want is him to realise his mistakes and stop drinking before he gets addicted. I’ve spoken and told him his mistakes,prayed while he’s with me and I know that makes him happy and secure but he still drinks the next day. Im always soft and gentle no matter what . What can I do to make him realise his mistakes and keep himself away from alcohol.
    As you know I’ve tried almost everything.would be glad if I could get any better suggestion from your side..

  53. My husband has long since served in the Army and we are expecting our first child. He is always completely sober at work because he values his career, but chooses to drink at home and is verbally abusive to me. He is a wonderful man when sober, but has this Jekyll/Hyde issue going and doesn’t remember a lot of what he says when he wakes up in the morning. If the Army finds out about his problem he won’t be promoted, and that will hurt us greatly. He can’t go to rehab because we don’t have the money, our insurance would not cover the cost and the Army would wash their hands of him. What should I do?

    1. Hello Prajapati. I suggest you talk with your brother about his drinking, and try both to find solution. I hope you’ll menage to help him. Also, here are several articles that you may find useful: , , and

  54. Plz help me my husband drinks every day and picks up fights with me,he has become abusive both physically and there any medications which I could give him without his knowledge and he would quit this marriage is on the verge of a divorce,plz help..

  55. I have been married to my husband for last 8 years.I tried everything to stop even treatment but every thing is effortless now I don t know how to handle him further I can t leave him because I love him so much.

  56. My hubbys ‘s problem is initial he drinks .he is very serious personality he doesn’t’ talk to any one not with me also. He is not in good mood aways.I was talkative but not know with him.I don’t know he loves me or now .we have two kids .how to improve him.he always remain quiet.whenever they want they sleep.

  57. It was a good idea for the sample conversation but I’ve tried it before and its like going in a big circle over and over and over again I love him with all my heart we’ve known each other since middle school and been together for years I’m tring to be patient with him because he asked me to he admitts he has a drinking problem but says it’s just to hard to stop that he wants me to help him slow down his drinking and to stop threatening to leave if he doesn’t stop but its not working and I don’t know what else to do when he drinks its never a little if he drinks one SIP of something with alcohol he just has to have more until he passes out sloppy drunk to the point where he pees on himself and if he tries to quit cold turkey the longest that will last is a week and then he will be drunk for two or three days straight and he always has an excuse for his drinking of why he drank so much or what he drank or how fast he drank it but never relizes the problem is him drinking period we never argue unless he’s drunk he never has disrespected me only when he drinks I’m tired of seeing him drunk but I love him to much to leave and I know its not healthy and I know the consequences of drinking to much and the long term damage it can cause to your body weather its alcohol poisoning, kidney failure, all the way to cancer I tell him he’s killing himself slowly even one of his family members drank themselves to death not to long ago and he says that’s not going to be him but won’t stop drinking I urge him to stop before he even picks up the bottle I even pour bottles and bears out or hide them but nothing is working and I’m tired of my drunk husband I want the sober one I fell in love with and I don’t want to be a widow or watch him drink himself to death anymore I feel like I’m out of options and I don’t know what to do

  58. I’ve tried all of these and nothing has worked in nineteen years. Divorce to me is the only answer but my kids are so angry over the thought of it. I bought a breathalyzer at his request and he’ll swear he didn’t drink but refuse to take the test (he failed it all three times he took it after swearing to God he didn’t). I think Al-Anon is the way to go so I don’t give up the second half of my life to this hell I’ve been in.

  59. My Husband drinks a lot.. when he drinks he hurts me and also hurt himself by hitting the door, breaking his head and blame me for no reason.. I thought of giving divorce but cant as I love him so much.. right now he dont have job too.. he is addicted and says will not stop.. Pls help me how to make him stop..

  60. My husband never ever wil go for help or listen to conversations about drinking ….. Very good person and hardworking person always there for his family when his not drinking …… So what can I do

  61. Hello April. You can help by seeking therapy with an addiction family specialist like a psychotherapist. The CRAFT model for intervention can also help. Support groups like Al-Anon will open you up to addressing possible tendencies you have to be codependent. The issue isn’t about helping your husband stop, it’s how you can learn to deal with his unhealthy behavior.

  62. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 2 years and we have been together for 3. Before we started dating he drank but I didn’t think much about it then after we got together he stopped for almost a year then went back to it but this its worse then it was when we first got together. I have seen him so drunk that he was falling down and tripping over stuff. He’s mean when he drinks he calls hateful names accuses me of stuff I haven’t done. He has almost gotten us in a wreck from drinking and driving BC he won’t let me drive. I love him so much that I don’t want to leave him but I don’t know what else to do anymore. When I try to talk to him about it all he says is I was drinking when u met me and I’ll drink now. His dad is dying of cancer and that has really set his drinking way up. What can I do to help him if he gets another DWI he will go to prison.

  63. firstly, Alcoholic dosen’t want to talk about this issue. Then after become irritate and get angry. the situation become tense and he avoid to talk with me.

  64. I am 26, married 5 years to a man I’ve been with for 11 years. He is 27. We have been fighting over his alcohol consumption our entire relationship. While we used to fight over one beer he would sneak from his parent’s fridge, it has evolved into him drinking I’d say 6-8 (on average) every single day starting when he gets home from work until he goes to bed. On weekends when he doesn’t work, it’s easily a 12 pack and can (rarely) get as high has 20-30 beers in a single day. His behavior while drinking is completely obnoxious and sloppy, and his attitude is so much different than when he is sober. Drinking alcohol severely impacts his judgment (short story: We didn’t live together until we were married and I had a curfew from my parents to be home and he did not. He spent our engagement staying out after work, getting drunk and sleeping with 4 of his coworkers behind my back and I didn’t find out until 3 years after we were married. Horrific!) No matter how much I express how negatively his alcohol abuse is hurting me and our marriage, he claims he “just likes to drink” and that “if I have a problem with it, then it’s just that – MY problem.” I’ve been reading books about alcoholism and trying to educate myself and understand how to deal with it. We are currently in counseling, but he still sticks to his claim that he doesn’t have a drinking problem, I have an acceptance problem. I am coming to the end of the line. I’m doing everything I can think of and know how to do to help our situation. He is making absolutely no effort to resolve anything and he doesn’t believe I will leave him, or says if I want to walk out on my marriage vows over something ‘so silly’ then he’ll show me the door. I want us to progress in a positive direction and I really want to help him, but I am SO tired of being the only one making an effort to change anything. You know it’s bad when your counselor says “your spouse obviously isn’t interested in changing yet, so why don’t you come alone to our sessions since you’re the only one willing to work on things.” Ouch. I’m doing everything I think I’m supposed to, trying everything I can think of, and nothing is getting through to him.

  65. Hello Patti. It sounds like you could really benefit from some talk therapy. Have you reached out to certified psychotherapists in your area? Do you know where to get a referral?

  66. My husband refuses to stop drinking…he says I need to change the way I feel about it NOT him quitting cause that will never happen,even though the only time we fight is when he is drunk. I f say I will leave him if he doesn’t stop he said leave then…no big deal to him. He knows he will be fine without me but I would struggle in life without him. So Im stuck and have no say!! Im a fff fool and feel like giving up on life.I have no family or friends to turn too and he knows it. I don’t feel he loves me like I love him and its been proven time and time again. I hate my life!!!!!

  67. Hello Patty. You are not alone! Get help immediately by seeking out a family addictions counselor or a support group like Al-Anon. You need to talk with someone and work out your next steps: an intervention or leaving?

  68. My husband has a drinking problem since before I met him but I never knew it was that bad. We have been married for seven years now n been together for about thirteen. Im currently expecting our third child. More than ever I try to help him change his ways with out being the nagging wife.. but it hurts me so much to see that his killing himself slowly every time he open a beer my stomach hurts n my heartaches I feel like I’m llettings our family down by not telling him to just stop an not letting him but more alcohol.

  69. Hi Lori. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Have you looked into support groups like Al-Anon or even group therapy? It might help you to understand alcoholism better, and to set boundaries for yourself now and in the future. All my best to you.

  70. My husband of 23 years recently passed because of liver cancer. He was only 55. He was also a heavy drinker. I begged him to slow down but I loved him so much I never really pushed it because I was afraid that he would chose the alcohol over me. Now I am dating a man that is a heavy drinker and I have asked him to slow down but it is not working too good, it seems like the more I ask the more he drinks. I know he loves me but TRUST me when I tell you that it is not pretty or fun watching someone you love dying from drinking. My advise to all of you reading this is push it as far as you have too. I regret not pushing it more because I miss him more then anyone will ever know and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I love my boyfriend now but I know it will not last because of the drinking but if they love you they will change, if not don’t let them destroy your happiness.

  71. Hello Carol. Sometimes the best thing to do is to sit down and have the conversation after you practice with a professional. I’d suggest that you schedule an appointment with a family counselor who specializes in substance abuse issues and get a feel for what to do and what level or enabling is present. You’ll be able to make a more informed decision with professional help from a psychologist.

  72. My husband is in the hospital. He has the first stages of cerosis ( I know it’s not spelled right) of the liver. He had the flu so he was taking Theraflu and took Tylenol also. This gave him acetamenaphine poisoning. This also affects his liver. I would like to know how to talk to him about quitting drinking. He is currently on a ventilator for a little while because he was having a hard time breathing. His kidneys also shut down. When he found out about the cerosis the doc said he had to be alcohol free for six months before he could get treatment. He lasted about 2 months then he fell off the wagon. I don’t want to watch him kill himself, but I don’t want him to leave me if I force him to make a choice. How do I start that conversation?

  73. I’d like to use this conversation to encourage my wife to cut back on her drinking (she drinks only wine – but ” a lot “). Then evolve into perhaps having her quit. The problem is, she likes drinking, she “can’t wait” till its 5pm. And some days, its 5 somewhere.
    How can I get this conversation started, and then kept up. Our children are grown, and worry very much about her, and I worry enough that it makes vacations and get togethers challenging.
    I’d appreciate a suggestion or two… is it possible to go down the “cut back” path. She certainly see’s no reason to quit at this time.

  74. I found the sample conversation to be very helpful. It’s so hard sometimes to get a Loved One talking. This sample offered a great example of how to handle the typical conversation stoppers we so often encounter.

    I’m looking forward to more tips for family & friends.

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