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How to find an AA sponsor (10 tips)

Finding a sponsor is one of the most important steps on the road to recovery. 10 tips on how to find an AA sponsor, plus finding the right sponsor for you and ideas maybe you didn’t think of yet.

4
minute read

1. Request a sponsor from your Higher Power

Having, developing and nurturing faith in “something other than yourself” is what the 12 steps are all about.  So, it’s fitting that you might consider divine intervention before you take any other action.  You can keep it real simple and repeat a simple prayer (“Please find me an A.A. sponsor, G-d”), think positive thoughts (“The perfect sponsor for me will arrive at the perfect time”)  or post an affirmation around your house (“The teacher will come when the student is ready”).  Trust in the power of the unknown (“Let go and let G-d”) and relax into the process.

2. Go to A.A. meetings

This may sound obvious, but in order to find a sponsor in A.A., you’ve got to attend meetings.  In order to get what others have got, you’ve got to show up and figure out what’s going on.  But meetings are not just face-to-face.  You can attend live online chat meetings, real time voice meetings, email list meetings, or even snail mail meetings.

3. Attend lots and lots of A.A. meetings

Show potential sponsors that you are serious about recovery from drinking by attending  lots and lots of meetings.  Not only does this target you as a good sponsee candidate, meetings help detox your brain.  Plus, it feels good to start to be recognized, listened to and appreciated.  Many people recommend attending 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days once you start life without drinking alcohol.  I find this a good goal, but rather unrealistic (I think I made about 50 meetings in 90 days).  But one thing is for sure:  the more you attend, the more people you will know, and the broader your base will be for choosing a sponsor.

4. Raise your hand at A.A. meetings

You can’t be shy about your need for a sponsor.  Although it’s difficult, raise your hand and share something of yourself during an A.A. meeting.  It’s best if you can add something to the discussion or relate to the topic in a way that brings value.  But at the least, simply state that you are an alcoholic and are looking to work with a sponsor on the steps.

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5. Practice the Golden Rule

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Opportunities (and a potential sponsor in A.A.) will come when you attract them to yourself by doing just what it is you are asking someone else to do for you.  So, get yourself involved in A.A.   Volunteer to set up, clean up or help with odd A.A. jobs.  Volunteering to do something for someone or something else make you available to, likewise,  receive good things.

6. Ask around

Stick around for the causal conversations before and after A.A. meetings.  Focus these conversations on positive themes.  Then, drop into the conversation something like, “Hey, Rose.  Do you know of anyone with some sober time who might make a good sponsor and be interested in taking on a new sponsee?”  Or, “Pat,  I wanted to ask for your feedback on something.  What’s a good strategy for finding a sponsor?”  You’ll be surprised by the results of your efforts …as you can never really expect what will happen next.

7. Do some market research

Once you get a feel for the group dynamic of certain meetings, start to really listen when other people share.  Look for an attitude match in a potential sponsor, rather than the details of his/her life.  Notice 2-3 people who stand out to you as people that you want to be like.  And keep them in your mind.

8. Go out on a limb and ask when you feel moved

Sometimes, you might just have an inspiration to go up to someone after they have shared at a meeting and ask them to be your sponsor.  Do it!  Even if they are not available, they might recommend someone else who is.  Follow your gut, and

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9. Be patient

No one owes you anything in A.A.  or anywhere else, for that matter.  Understand that things may not move right away.  And that sometimes, we are tested to show ourselves truly how much we want something.  In the end, you will find a sponsor.  Place your intention there and wait.  How much are you willing to work and wait in sobriety?

10.  Email us at Addiction Blog

If all else fails, email us.  We can help hook you up with online and general office resources that you might not have thought of before.  As always, your questions and comments are welcomed below.

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About the author
Lee Weber is a published author, medical writer, and woman in long-term recovery from addiction. Her latest book, The Definitive Guide to Addiction Interventions is set to reach university bookstores in early 2019.

127 Comments

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  1. Hi all ive been sober 7 years now, and have had two sponsers .The first only lasted a few weeks ,as he moved away suddenly. My second took me through the steps using the BB. A year later I started moving every couple of weeks around the country [GB].So I lost contact with my sponser . My main problem is I have a fear of calling people on the phone ,that includes friends and famly both in and out of AA. Although I have been doing a shift on the AA phone service for many years ,and I am fine with that. On my travels I meet a lot of good AA people whom I get on fine with and I take their phone numbers ,but when I need to talk to them I just cant ring . Stupid I know ,and seven years sober and cant ring an AA pal when I need to. Face to face with them I can talk and share one to one no problem. but not on the phone. So I thought an on line sponser may be good. Hope this dosent sound to stupid thank you all

  2. I’ve stopped drinking as of 1st April this year, and feel like I need a AA sponsor for the harder times. I am UK based. And help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

  3. Hi, my name is Blake. Im from Missouri. I have battled addiction since i have been an early teen. I have been to prison a few times now. Since last getting out, i got on Suboxone. And amazingly it put me on a course for success. However, now im battling getting off of suboxone. It is causing so much crap in my relationship with my fiancee. I need a number or list of numbers to some people who are willing to either listen, or be a sponsor for someone like myself. Please, this is a real emergency!!!! I am located out of chesterfield, MO. Please, feel free to text. Anyone, willing to help, would be greatley appreciated!!

  4. Looking for a female sponsor in the south side of Edmonton inepuld like to join a 12 step group if any one has any suggestions

  5. Looking for a sponsor to guide me thru the 12 steps and me to sobriety Please help me find a sponsor desperate to find one asap

  6. Hello, do you of any one with some sober time who might make a good sober and be interested in taking on a new sponsor. Or what’s a good strategy for finding a sponsor.

  7. I ask you to remove my previous comment (Hello, I’m Alexander from Russia etc.), I wanted to wrtie to you, but not to leave a comment. Sorry.

  8. hi all ive been sober and in AA for seven years but haven’t had a sponser for most of that time. Find it very difficult [FEAR] to phone people. And I move around a lot ,and lack convidence talking to people..So I would like an on line sponser [friend] that I can talk to

  9. Good afternoon, I was just informed by my DCFS worker that I need to get a sponsor ASAP to be able to visit with my son unmonitored… I have been sober for over two years but in Friday I received very bad news and drank a beer now she told me I need a sponsor ASAP if you can please help

    1. Hi Anna. Have you tried to find sponsor at the AA meeting in your area? Also, you have online options available, which may be convenient for you. Check the web pages and enter your geographic area of living to see what fits your needs:

      -SMART Recovery® Meetings http://www.smartrecovery.org/meetings_db/view/
      -Secular Organizations for Sobriety Meetings http://www.sossobriety.org/meetings.html
      -Face-to-Face LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/find-a-meeting/
      -Online LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/online-meetings/
      -SAMHSA’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

  10. I need help finding a sponsor I am being forced by probation to get one I been going to meetings and I can’t find one please I hope u can help me thanks

  11. Hi
    I am 16 years sober from Alchol and 1 year clean off codeine I live on a small island and there is no one I can find to sponcer me .
    Could you put me in touch with someone that could help please
    Thank you Paula

    1. Hi Paula. I understand your standing point! I suggest that you try finding an online sponsor and online support groups. Check these web pages:
      – SMART Recovery® Meetings https://www.smartrecovery.org/community/
      – Secular Organizations for Sobriety Meetings http://www.sossobriety.org/on-line-groups
      – Online LifeRing Meetings https://lifering.org/meeting-menu/online-meetings-chat-room/
      – Find Women for Sobriety Headquarters https://womenforsobriety.org/meetings/
      – Moderation Management Online Support http://www.moderation.org/

  12. I’m at day 32, looking for a sponsor. I’m very introverted, like to be by myself, do not ask for help etc etc. So asking someone is very uncomfortable for me

  13. I would like to find a sponsor and a place to go for next day a meeting so I can work on my problems with another person and that knows how to get through this.

  14. I need a sponsor bad. I am new to being home and need to find meetings and a soon see quick before I loose my self again what do I do

  15. I’m trying to find a sponsor. not sure if this is the right way to go buy it but I don’t know how to do it trying all my best to make a better life for myself but I’m afraid I hope I’m not doing the wrong thing here

  16. Good morning. I have a friend who is in need of a sponsor. He is in Chatsworth CA and I live in Las Vegas. I would like to get him to talk to someone. Thank you

  17. Timothy, A.A.can be described as a sort of religion. What is it about the meetings exactly that does not work for you? Here’s a list of meetings near Rochester (http://216.15.170.130/meeting%20list.html) … have you tried online meetings? Otherwise, I’d suggest that you check out SMART Recovery as an excellent alternative.

    Hello Aprilsmith. Yes, you need a sponsor to go through the 12 steps if you are to complete them as they are laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

  18. Hi,

    A very close friend of mine needs a sponsor. She is 3 months out of rehab and has recently started to struggle a lot. Her family are not financially safe and her home life is very difficult. She is the only income earner in the family, her father is an alcoholic in denial and her mother is dying. She currently only has me to talk to but I am not best suited for her needs.

    Please if anyone knows of an available sponsor within London reply to this.

    She’s only 22 and we cant let this addiction control her any longer. Please give her some hope.

  19. Im looking for a sponsor around my age 30. Im from greece NY, I have been to a couple of meeting but have not find a sponsor.

  20. Can you help me find my son a sponsor in Columbus Ohio, was in breaking point for 45 days and got closed down!! Was doing so good,don’t want him to relaps
    Please help us,was addicted to herion!!
    Thank you
    Debbie

  21. Hello,
    Please be kind enough to help me. I am married twice and 71 yrs. old. I dearly love my second husband. But for the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic, he is a wonderful man. Over the past 3 years, he has dabbled with getting sober but we have suffered multiple slips. He now attends AA appx. 3 times a week. However, he never shares any of his meeting experiences, there are no medallions,etc. 8 months ago after a slip he swore to me he was getting a sponsor. He has promised this to me in the past. When I inquire, he just says he is anti-social, that the meetings make him uncomfortable,that there is no-one of his caliber at those meetings. The truth is that he is extremely intelligent but you don’t have be equals if he
    you have down home values.He is a very private person and he doesn’t care to share his business with anyone.He attends 3 meetings a week in different areas of Salisbury,MD.
    What words of advice do you have for me or for him. I feel so alone in this madness. I have had a stroke and am in a wheel chair. I believe all alcoholics are liars and my husband is crafty in this regard. I am living in this nightmare day in -day out. I am overwhelmed at my station in life. It feels like I can’t hold it together much longer given the complexity of this disease.
    I personally stopped drinking many years ago because I could not afford to have liquor in the house. I may have a glass of wine periodically if my husband is not present, but that’s it.I thought I might be an alcoholic until I quit cold turkey and never missed a drop. I decided it was getting in the way of who and what I wanted to be. My husband does no introspection that I am aware of. I do not not want to live out my days in regret or being my husband’s policeman for booze.
    My heart aches for what our lives could be.
    Thank you for you time and consideration.
    With Kindest Regards,
    Marth

  22. god is with us and always he will do what is best for us find a sponsor or surround yourself with possitive people and be happy.andy

  23. My husband is looking for a sponsor. He has been going to aa meetings. And nothing so far. Can anyone help him. He don’t want to fall off the wagon.

  24. Hi, I am not too sure if I can just walk into meetings and easily ask someone to be my sponsor as the steps here say. I just need some help in my change of life and my mental thinking knowing I can’t drink.

    Thank you

  25. HI
    Am an alcoholic am 8 month sober but struggling the craving plus my husband is an alcoholic too but he admit he is an addict. we have a 3 years old baby am struggling need a hand. am living in Ethiopia we have only one AA meeting in a week. i have read the big book and the recovery book . am helping my self next to God but still afraid of loosing the sweetest life i have now.

  26. I live in the East Cobb, Georgia area and I need a sponsor. Can someone help me?

    I do not have a drivers license and I know my children are getting frustrated taking me back and forth to work, AA meetings and grocery stores. My goal is to change my ways and eventually be able to drive again, but I need help and I’m asking for any help I can get.

  27. My youngest, 22y, is fighting the battle now. Everyone is unique I know. We live in a suburb of Houston. He has had sponsors, but he can’t seem to keep one. I pray every night 😢

  28. Looking for AA sponsers in the Littleton NH and North Conway area. Would like to get a sponser more privately without attending a meeting.

  29. I am looking for a sponsor, to discuss my situation.
    I am looking to stop drinking completely.
    I do not drink everyday, I do over indulge from time to time especially when I’m upset at my life, husband or just me.
    I’m looking for support.

    thank you,

    1. Hi Mike. Hi Georgia. Have you tried at support groups that hold meetings in your area? You also have online options available, which may be convenient for you. Check the web pages and enter your geographic area of living to see what fits your needs:

      -SMART Recovery® Meetings http://www.smartrecovery.org/meetings_db/view/
      -Secular Organizations for Sobriety Meetings http://www.sossobriety.org/meetings.html
      -Face-to-Face LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/find-a-meeting/
      -Online LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/online-meetings/
      -SAMHSA’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

  30. Hello. I am looking for a sponsor who can help me with my steps. I want to get better. I hope someone will be able to direct me where to go and look

  31. I am a recovering cross addicted women of 45 looking to get a sponsor in Livonia Michigan. If not someone that has the knowledge to help me work through the 12 steps and how to stay sober.
    Thank You
    Kimberly

    1. Hi Kimberly. Did you ask someone on your meetings? Also, you You have online options available, check the web pages and enter your geographic area of living to see what fits your needs:

      SMART Recovery® Meetings http://www.smartrecovery.org/meetings_db/view/
      Secular Organizations for Sobriety Meetings http://www.sossobriety.org/meetings.html
      Face-to-Face LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/find-a-meeting/
      Online LifeRing Meetings http://lifering.org/online-meetings/
      Find Women for Sobriety Headquarters http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/contact/
      Moderation Management Face-to-Face Meeting http://www.moderation.org/meetings/index.shtml
      Moderation Management Online Support http://www.moderation.org/onlinegroups.shtml
      SAMHSA’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

  32. I am trying to find a sponsor as I am on day two of my abstinance. I live in Greece and unfortunately cannot figure out how to attend online meetings (and if there are ones at suitable times as there is an 8-10 hour difference from America) Could you help me get started??

  33. you offered samsa to a patient who asked for information on medicare treatment programs. Samhsa does not have any programs. How can you be a informationn list?

    1. Hi Smith. I can’t find any comments from a reader asking for information on MediCare treatment programs. Nor any comments in which we offer SAMHSA as a resource. Are you sure you shared your post on the correct page?

  34. Is there a virtual online meeting I can become a part of. I have 3 yrs. sobriety but my spouse still drinks in the house and keeps alcohol in the house. I have never been tempted by it,as my commitment to my sobriety is burned into my brain.But I am finding it difficult to have alcohol around me and I need to advise on how to deal with it.
    Thank you in advanced for any input.
    Pam

  35. I have been goiing to 3-4 meetings a week for seven months, I was on house arrest for 7 months, could not go, I did not do on line aa. I am applying to the secretary of state for my D.L. .All that aside, I have stayed sober, but really need a sponsor

  36. We owe every newcomer a hand in recovery, every person that walks in a meeting is reaching out for help at that moment. All walk in the door with a spiritual malady, and are not always able to ask for help. It is the members responsibility to help them qualify as an alcoholic by explain the description laid out in the big book, it is the members responsibility to lead them through the big book, meetings are great but they will not get newcomers sober! The big book is clear, page 64. If alcoholic, you are suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer! The steps are the key to the spiritual experience. Remember you cannot keep what you are not freely given. It is our duty to give back what was freely given to us! Such a shame that many people do not take this seriously, a newcomer should be set in this direction from their very first meeting. Waiting for newcomers to reach out never happened when the success rate was 75%, now it is around 8% and this is why!

  37. This is a 24 hour daily process supported by the grace of whatever God you do or don’t believe in, or understand.
    Just for today, refrain from drinking anything containing alcohol and avoid anyone who refuses to respect that you no longer choose to drink, and maintain frequent contact as possible with others who also choose not to drink today,
    especially in early sobriety.
    Under ideal conditions you may meet a person of the same gender with more time sober than you, whose well acquainted with the AA program of recovery.
    The fact is, our founders did not have these advantages, yet with the simple ideas stated above they were more successful than some of today’s treatment modalities.
    Between regular attendance at whatever meetings you have access to, an abundant amount of pamphlets, and other AA Approved literature, as well as today’s Audio and video mediums, you have everything you need to find and eventually to become a good sponsor.
    It certainly won’t hurt to get and read the books, living sober, Daily Reflections, 24 hours As Bill Sees It, AA’s pamphlet on sponsorship and of course our Basic text Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Big Book”. and the additional essays on our steps and traditions, (12&12).
    Chances are, that someone taking the time to read and study that material will be helpful showing you how to live grow and stay sober. Ĵust for today,
    I’m happy, joyous and free! I never did rehab but, i did do everything else i suggested here.

    Good Luck!
    God Bess!
    Current Home Group
    Exchange Views 6:30am
    Sobriety date 12/31/1989,(last drunk).
    Current sponsor Phil P.

  38. I really could use some help. Or a prayer or both. My last two aa sponsors passed away. I cant seem to find a temp sponsor. I have a little over 5 yrs in sobriety. Finding someone who also understands alanon is difficult. Ive asked several people and all say they are unable to at this time. Im struggling. Im beginning to have a complex. Thoughts? Suggestions?

  39. I would like some help with finding a sponsor as so many of the meetings that I am able to attend are small and mostly men. I have asked some people that I know that have gone through AA to keep their ears open for anyone wanting to be a sponsor and I have had no luck. I have been sober since September 15th 2015. Thank you for your help. I live in Cave Creek , AZ if that matters.
    Sincerely,
    Christin

  40. Hi, my friend is a recovering addict. He completed inpatient rehab nearly a year ago, but has not felt AA is a good fit for him (the groups he has gone to locally don’t feel helpful, he did not seem to mind the one he went to while in rehab – out of state). He was doing some of the homework for a short period of time afterwards, but not anymore. He occasionally makes an appointment with his counselor from rehab when he is struggling, but it takes a lot of convincing and is pretty expensive – it is the only thing that really seems to help get him back on track mentally/emotionally. And he does sometimes reach out to some of the guys he went to rehab with, but a lot of them are struggling and end up being difficult to reach. I try to be a healthy person and I think I have something to offer, and it seems I can help when he is clear headed, but when he’s in his “moods”, he only views me as the bad guy and I know that he may just need someone who has actually gone through having an addiction. He never found a sponsor, and I was thinking about trying to talk with him about this to see if he’d be open to considering it again – he couldn’t find/didn’t know how to find someone back then. Are there groups other than AA that he could consider? Is it best to find someone local? I can only imagine how difficult it is to find a good fit, on top of it all. Is there any sort of network for this type of thing – available and willing sponsors? I was hoping to do some digging for options before discussing with him since it seems to help to be able to show him there is a way to make something happen even if he can’t see it. He’s been struggling the past few weeks and his behavior is pretty hurtful towards me- outright emotionally and mentally attacking. It has taken quite a toll over the years, and I feel like I can’t do it much longer unfortunately… I want to be sure I try everything I can think of first. He says he’s still clean, but he is definitely behaving in the way he did during his addiction (I read that can happen even if the person is clean). I just can’t seem to get through to him no matter what I try, so I was hoping if he is able to recenter and be more open to talking that I could bring this up then. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

    1. Hi Nikki. I understand your point! There are other support groups other than AA and some may even hold meetings closer in his area. Check the web pages and enter your geographic area of living to see what fits his needs:

      SMART Recovery® Meetings: http://www.smartrecovery.org/meetings_db/view/
      Secular Organizations for Sobriety Meetings; http://www.sossobriety.org/meetings.html
      Online LifeRing Meetings: http://lifering.org/online-meetings/
      Face-to-Face LifeRing Meetings: http://lifering.org/find-a-meeting/

  41. Hi. My name is Doris. I ‘ve had 2 sponsors. The 2nd one has a little boy. She can’t come and pick me up at night to take me to meetings. I am in a Rehab. Facility. I just graduated the 120 day program here. She says she doesn’t like coming to the facility at night to pick me up, because she has her son with her. I have to get a supporter to pick me up, but my sponsor is there at the meeting with her son. We had a date set to do my 8th step, she didn’t show up. I tried calling her twice, she didn’t answer. I saw her at the meeting, she said she overslept. I don’t feel that she is the right sponsor for me. I’ve come too far in my recovery. I feel that I deserve the right sponsor. Can you give me some advice.?

  42. Im a 33 year old male.wife and 4 daughters.i have a drinking problem and i am a alcoholic.i really need some guidance on handling this.i live in newport news virginia.i could really use a sponsor or a mentor to walk me through this thing.any help would be greatly appreciated.

  43. I have requested two sponsors on the AA site. The first one blew me off after I gave my story?
    The 2nd one does not have GOD as their higher power as I do , so I am thinking that is not a good mix.? Do you agree? I live in a small town. Meetings are 1 hour away. Do you have a sponsor that can be assigned to me.

    1. Hi Deborah. You can continue your search and ask other people who have been a year or more away from the last drink and seem to be enjoying sobriety. Simply approach a more experienced member on the AA website who seems compatible to you, and asks that member to be a sponsor. Unfortunately, we do not have any resources for finding people that are willing to be sponsors and cannot directly assist you on this one.

  44. Hello, my name is Veronica, and I am looking for a sponsor. I’m trying to get into a 6 month recovery program, and in order to do so, I was told I must get a sponsor prior to being admitted in the recovery program. Is there anyone who would be willing to help me out? Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Veronica

  45. Hello Judy. Have you tried online meetings? There are some chat meetings you can find on the site In The Rooms that can help. Otherwise, throw me a line here and let me know if you’d like to start an email sponsorship.

    Lee (The Editor)

  46. Need online sponsor. Live in Costa Rica, disabled and do not have transportation to meetings. Am on probation from US. Please help if possible.

  47. I need help ive tried everything but it doesn’t help im 34 with a family that I love and want to keep them . My wife is fed up and I want her back please somebody help me no email address but have a phone please somebody help me call me.

    1. Hello Terrance. You can call the helpline number that’s displayed on our page to get in touch with our trusted treatment providers that will provide professional advise in finding/providing the right treatment program for you.

  48. Hello & good day to all, I’m 54 yrs.old and have been sober for 2 months. I’ve come to the 4th step and need help, I can’t seem to break out of my shell enough to ask for a sponsor(fear). Any feed back will be greatly appreciated, thank you !

  49. Hi. I am looking for a sponsor for my mother who has had a drug problem. She doesn’t think she needs one but I think it would be a good idea for her to be able to discuss things with someone. Any help you could give me would be great. Thank you

  50. I could temporarily sponsor anyone I would be willing to share my email and cell phone with those that need help. By the way I have been Sober and clean for 28.6 years. I have traveled for a living for 18 of those years as an over the road truck driver. I have had a sponsor for 23 of those years. I am searching for a new sponsor because all 4 of the last died and were sober when they passed. I is still living sober and free but he isn’t around. I attend meetings, I put my hand up. I do 12 step calls. I work the phones at AA central. I am attempting to start college this summer again with a plan to get a BS in addiction counseling. If there is anything I can do to help the big book says I am responsible and I believe that. Please I would be willing.

  51. Thank you . this was the most informative read on how to find a sponsor on line so far.. Im going to attend the meetings closest to me.. that’s 3 meetings a week.. I hope and prey someone finds me and helps guide me.. I know I have to put the work in and push my self away from alcohol. thank you once again for this wonderful page

  52. Need a sponsor asap. Travel for a living therefore go to meetings in a different city every night , making it hard to find sponsor

  53. Hi Lauren. Yes, I think that we might be able to hook you up with a sponsor. If you are serious, send a message by clicking on the “Contact” link at the bottom of the page and leave us an email.

  54. Hi emmanuel. Are you looking for a sponsor Where is your group meeting? Is there a virtual online meetings that you have started? Can you please tell us a little more.

  55. This is for Susan. When I began my journey in sobriety, my wife received wonderful help and support from Alanon. Alanon is not just for spouses of alcoholics; it is for anyone who loves someone whose life is being damaged by alcohol.

  56. Hi Susan. I really feel your love and concern for your sister in your message. I also want to recognize that your love of her, and understanding that she may not be capable of loving you back right now, is what she actually needs. It may be time to talk with your family about an intervention.

    One way that you can schedule an intervention is to work with a treatment center who can send you a counselor to be present in a “family meeting”. Or, you can consult an addiction counselor on your own, and ask for advice. The basic idea is that everyone in the family gets together, shares how her alcoholism has affected their lives, and asks her to go to treatment.

    Please let us know if you need help locating a local counselor, or for more advice on interventions. Does this help?

  57. I am writing to request how to help my sister. I think she is an alcoholic..well I know she is…she had admitted it to me years ago…currently she has moved to south carolina (with her soon-to-be ex-husband and two teenage children – 15 & 17)..now that she is getting a divorce..i believe this has come up again…she was doing fine…but now she has met someone new & I’m afraid he is a drug addict..b/c she told me…She begged and pleaded to move in with me – I am in NY (i also am 35, she is about 40 yrs old) My mom thinks she should not leave south carolina b/c of the kids…and find out what kind of settlement she can get..since meeting this new guy she has quit her job (which she seemed content with)..I just got off the phone with my brother and he has witnessed strange behavior and now that I think about it I have too..like forgetting to calll me back on…my brother mentioned that she may have stole money from my mom and the last time he saw her was with this new boyfriend who they both looked high on something…i am very concerned…I don’t know how to bring this up to her as I think now she feels she doens’t abuse drugs and alcohol..probably in denial..i am very scared for her well-being as her support system is well non-existent…please offer any suggestions or advice I can take…I really care and love my sister…whether i think she does’t care about me and the rest of the family…I appreciate any kind of feedback.

    Thank you.
    Susan

  58. Hi madamgalen. Thanks for your message. I’m not sure what you’re asking for. Spiritual sponshorship is a very personal matter. How can we help direct you?

  59. I appreciate your Blog ……very very much. I am looking for a spiritual sponsor for my AA sponsor. Thank you brother , for your blog. It is very thoughtful and it is received.

  60. I think the first thing you need to do to find a sponsor is to set it in your mind that you WANT RECOVERY from alcoholism and that you would do anything to get it. If you imagine yourself well, someday you will be well. But you’ve got to be active in looking for a sponsor. So, get out there and start with meetings, and meet as many AA people you can, and then ask around.

    Good luck!

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