Thursday August 16th 2018

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Why do I drink, drug, or have addictive behavior?

WHY? WHY do I [fill in the blank]?

How often have you asked yourself this question?

Addictive personality = personality problems

We engage in mood altering substances or behaviours for many seemingly good reasons. However, the common denominator I have found among addicts of any kind (behavioral or chemical), and this included myself, is that people engage in negative destructive behaviour for a straight forward reason – WE HAVE PERSONALITY PROBLEMS.

In fact, about 10% of the population (some say more) is predisposed to addiction. There is also medical proof that addiction has a genetic component involved. That being said, all those use substance or destructive behaviour (sex, gambling, eating, etc.) are not addicts. All those who use substances or behaviors as a type of escape from problems DO HAVE A PERSONALITY PROBLEM. Well over 10% of these people will end up addicted.

Why do we use drugs or alcohol or compulsive behaviors?

The personality problems manifest in some common ways and we share common reasons for using drug or alcohol. Some of these reasons WHY? include:

1. Loneliness – We may be counteracting the feeling of constant loneliness. I know in my own case years ago I could feel lonely in a crowd and events where people I knew were present.

2. Feeling inferior – I used chemicals and substances in the part because for whatever the reasons, I felt inferior. I believed if people REALLY knew me they would not like me.

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3. Emotional conflict – Have you ever felt emotional conflict within? Isn’t that good enough reason to alter your mood and escape? Man, if people had my problems they’d use too.

I think you get the idea.

Abstinence helps but doesn’t solve personality problems

For those who do get addicted, and I can offer you a number of reasons that addiction occurs. We can go into neurotransmitters, endorphin production, chemical imbalances and other things medical science has shown.

But does the reason really matter?

There are all kinds of personality problems that cause people to use, and guess what? If they just stop the destructive behaviour, the ISSUES DON’T GO AWAY. Abstinence helps, but it solves nothing long term.

Simple fact, if you drink, drug, or use other destructive behaviours to escape the pain of daily living, you have a personality disorder. If you have crossed the line and have become addicted (and there are simple tests to determine if you’ve crossed the line) you must accept the fact that you are addicted, surrender and take action to not only stop, but to address the root cause – THE PERSONALITY PROBLEM.

What’s the solution to addictive behaviors?

The solution for those who engage in excessive destructive behaviour to escape and those who cross the line and become addicted is the same. Reach out and get the help you need to go through the process that will address the personality problems and learn the life skills that will allow you to deal with issues without resorting to alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviours.

Photo credit: jqgill


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3 Responses to “Why do I drink, drug, or have addictive behavior?
1:00 am May 3rd, 2011

I became addicted to cocaine later on in life, unfortunately. I was 30 years old. I used it as crutch or more like and excuse when my mother passed away. While going on binges I would leave my kids for days at a time with friends and lie about where I was. I took me looking myself in the mirror one day while snorting the last of gram I had purchased, I saw my mother looking back in disappointment. It was a crazy realization, but I kicked that habit and went back to my family. I did this for a little over a year. I thank God i never had a bad incident, besides neglecting my family. I am making up for that now. Please, don’t do drugs and if you have get help.

4:05 pm April 23rd, 2014

Thanks for this two sentence answer to the problem. Reach out and get help.

8:05 pm October 22nd, 2014

You hit it right on the head.I never thought I was good enough.I payl golf and its all about confidence,if I dont have it forget it.I guess i am trying to manage my mind with beer.

About Keith Bray

I am a Master Life Coach who is ICF certified and a certified addictions coach. I consider myself recovered from the effects of addiction (16 years) but still in recovery mode as it relates to personal growth. Professionally, I am university educated, a former corporate CEO and have been in the consulting business for over two decades. I'm a husband, father, grandfather, friend, uncle son, a trusted confidant and many other things but bottom line, I'm Keith. I hope that I can help SOME out there with ideas that will make you think deeply.

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