Sunday December 21st 2014

How to find an AA sponsor (10 tips)

How to find an AA sponsor (10 tips)

1. Request a sponsor from your Higher Power

Having, developing and nurturing faith in “something other than yourself” is what the 12 steps are all about.  So, it’s fitting that you might consider divine intervention before you take any other action.  You can keep it real simple and repeat a simple prayer (“Please find me an A.A. sponsor, G-d”), think positive thoughts (“The perfect sponsor for me will arrive at the perfect time”)  or post an affirmation around your house (“The teacher will come when the student is ready”).  Trust in the power of the unknown (“Let go and let G-d”) and relax into the process.

2. Go to A.A. meetings

This may sound obvious, but in order to find a sponsor in A.A., you’ve got to attend meetings.  In order to get what others have got, you’ve got to show up and figure out what’s going on.  But meetings are not just face-to-face.  You can attend live online chat meetings, real time voice meetings, email list meetings, or even snail mail meetings.

3. Attend lots and lots of A.A. meetings

Show potential sponsors that you are serious about recovery from drinking by attending  lots and lots of meetings.  Not only does this target you as a good sponsee candidate, meetings help detox your brain.  Plus, it feels good to start to be recognized, listened to and appreciated.  Many people recommend attending 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days once you start life without drinking alcohol.  I find this a good goal, but rather unrealistic (I think I made about 50 meetings in 90 days).  But one thing is for sure:  the more you attend, the more people you will know, and the broader your base will be for choosing a sponsor.

4. Raise your hand at A.A. meetings

You can’t be shy about your need for a sponsor.  Although it’s difficult, raise your hand and share something of yourself during an A.A. meeting.  It’s best if you can add something to the discussion or relate to the topic in a way that brings value.  But at the least, simply state that you are an alcoholic and are looking to work with a sponsor on the steps.

5. Practice the Golden Rule

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Opportunities (and a potential sponsor in A.A.) will come when you attract them to yourself by doing just what it is you are asking someone else to do for you.  So, get yourself involved in A.A.   Volunteer to set up, clean up or help with odd A.A. jobs.  Volunteering to do something for someone or something else make you available to, likewise,  receive good things.

6. Ask around

Stick around for the causal conversations before and after A.A. meetings.  Focus these conversations on positive themes.  Then, drop into the conversation something like, “Hey, Rose.  Do you know of anyone with some sober time who might make a good sponsor and be interested in taking on a new sponsee?”  Or, “Pat,  I wanted to ask for your feedback on something.  What’s a good strategy for finding a sponsor?”  You’ll be surprised by the results of your efforts …as you can never really expect what will happen next.

7. Do some market research

Once you get a feel for the group dynamic of certain meetings, start to really listen when other people share.  Look for an attitude match in a potential sponsor, rather than the details of his/her life.  Notice 2-3 people who stand out to you as people that you want to be like.  And keep them in your mind.

8. Go out on a limb and ask when you feel moved

Sometimes, you might just have an inspiration to go up to someone after they have shared at a meeting and ask them to be your sponsor.  Do it!  Even if they are not available, they might recommend someone else who is.  Follow your gut, and

9. Be patient

No one owes you anything in A.A.  or anywhere else, for that matter.  Understand that things may not move right away.  And that sometimes, we are tested to show ourselves truly how much we want something.  In the end, you will find a sponsor.  Place your intention there and wait.  How much are you willing to work and wait in sobriety?

10.  Email us at Addiction Blog

If all else fails, email us.  We can help hook you up with online and general office resources that you might not have thought of before.  As always, your questions and comments are welcomed below.

Photo credit: andercismo

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19 Responses to “How to find an AA sponsor (10 tips)
What's the scenario?
11:25 am March 24th, 2011

I think the first thing you need to do to find a sponsor is to set it in your mind that you WANT RECOVERY from alcoholism and that you would do anything to get it. If you imagine yourself well, someday you will be well. But you’ve got to be active in looking for a sponsor. So, get out there and start with meetings, and meet as many AA people you can, and then ask around.

Good luck!

Dan jones
5:14 am October 20th, 2011

need a good sponsor

1:43 pm October 20th, 2011

Hi Dan. How long have you been in the program? Where do you go to meetings?

madamgalen
3:05 am October 24th, 2011

I appreciate your Blog ……very very much. I am looking for a spiritual sponsor for my AA sponsor. Thank you brother , for your blog. It is very thoughtful and it is received.

9:56 am October 24th, 2011

Hi madamgalen. Thanks for your message. I’m not sure what you’re asking for. Spiritual sponshorship is a very personal matter. How can we help direct you?

Susan
4:54 am November 4th, 2011

I am writing to request how to help my sister. I think she is an alcoholic..well I know she is…she had admitted it to me years ago…currently she has moved to south carolina (with her soon-to-be ex-husband and two teenage children – 15 & 17)..now that she is getting a divorce..i believe this has come up again…she was doing fine…but now she has met someone new & I’m afraid he is a drug addict..b/c she told me…She begged and pleaded to move in with me – I am in NY (i also am 35, she is about 40 yrs old) My mom thinks she should not leave south carolina b/c of the kids…and find out what kind of settlement she can get..since meeting this new guy she has quit her job (which she seemed content with)..I just got off the phone with my brother and he has witnessed strange behavior and now that I think about it I have too..like forgetting to calll me back on…my brother mentioned that she may have stole money from my mom and the last time he saw her was with this new boyfriend who they both looked high on something…i am very concerned…I don’t know how to bring this up to her as I think now she feels she doens’t abuse drugs and alcohol..probably in denial..i am very scared for her well-being as her support system is well non-existent…please offer any suggestions or advice I can take…I really care and love my sister…whether i think she does’t care about me and the rest of the family…I appreciate any kind of feedback.

Thank you.
Susan

11:26 am December 6th, 2011

Hi Susan. I really feel your love and concern for your sister in your message. I also want to recognize that your love of her, and understanding that she may not be capable of loving you back right now, is what she actually needs. It may be time to talk with your family about an intervention.

One way that you can schedule an intervention is to work with a treatment center who can send you a counselor to be present in a “family meeting”. Or, you can consult an addiction counselor on your own, and ask for advice. The basic idea is that everyone in the family gets together, shares how her alcoholism has affected their lives, and asks her to go to treatment.

Please let us know if you need help locating a local counselor, or for more advice on interventions. Does this help?

Bob
11:24 pm December 30th, 2011

This is for Susan. When I began my journey in sobriety, my wife received wonderful help and support from Alanon. Alanon is not just for spouses of alcoholics; it is for anyone who loves someone whose life is being damaged by alcohol.

emmanuel
6:43 pm February 16th, 2012

i will like to be part of u and for u to sponsor my new group.

12:36 pm February 17th, 2012

Hi emmanuel. Are you looking for a sponsor Where is your group meeting? Is there a virtual online meetings that you have started? Can you please tell us a little more.

Lauren
2:58 am February 23rd, 2012

I need a sponser,anyone available

2:44 pm February 23rd, 2012

Hi Lauren. Yes, I think that we might be able to hook you up with a sponsor. If you are serious, send a message by clicking on the “Contact” link at the bottom of the page and leave us an email.

emmanuel
5:08 pm February 26th, 2012

please when is the AA meeting holding the time days and week i will like to be part of this.

11:39 am February 28th, 2012

Hi emmanuel. We don’t hold meetings here, but you can find a directory of online AA meetings on this website: http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php

BARRY B.
3:44 pm April 28th, 2013

GOOD DAY,I NEED A LOCAL SPONSER IN MANCHESTER MD,CAN YOU HELP? AGE 72

1:25 pm May 2nd, 2013

Hello Barry. Call the Maryland Chapter of A.A. near you for help finding a sponsor. You can also get more information from the A.A. website about local meetings here:

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=28

GOOD LUCK!

Dave
8:54 pm July 25th, 2014

Can you folks help me. Find a temp sponsor?

Kay
3:08 am October 6th, 2014

My friend needs a sponsor and I very scared! Please please send and angel her way!!!

Amy
7:26 pm December 14th, 2014

Need a sponsor asap. Travel for a living therefore go to meetings in a different city every night , making it hard to find sponsor

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